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Conflict will occur in any love relationship. When you understand that, you don’t need to think about giving up on the relationship. Your next relationship would just have more conflict in it. So learn to deal with conflict healthily now.

There are a few things you can do that are healthy when conflict arises. Practice these things and you are much more likely to get through the conflict without further damaging your relationship.

One of the first things you can do is to learn to breathe. It takes a while to learn this skill, to focus some on your breathing while in the middle of an argument. But just learning to breathe and take a few breathes will help you to stay calmer. This will help you to keep the argument from getting more heated.

Next, understand that conflict causes crappy conduct. Adults act like ten year old’s during a conflict. There’s screaming, crying, swearing, slamming of doors. It’s going to happen during some arguments.

A very healthy thing to learn is not to take it too personally. It isn’t personal, it is just adults being frustrated and acting like kids. Again, this takes a long time to learn, but try not to take it personally. We act like angry kids but only for a few minutes, then we regain control. Don’t let those few minutes of poor behavior overshadow all the good things you have between you.

Another powerful thing to do with conflict is to de-escalate it. Talk in a quieter tone of voice. Don’t interrupt your mate. Walk away for a few minutes til you get yourself under control. You don’t need to let arguments turn into world war three.

Practice reconnecting with your mate afterwards. Don’t let silence and anger build up between you. Be the adult and check in with your mate. Say “sorry we fought, are we okay?”

Arguments will happen between any two healthy adults. If you can take some time, breathe, calm things down, and reconnect after wards, then later you can discuss the issues more rationally with your mate. There is a lot more to dealing with conflict in a healthy way, but these things are a good start. It may take months to master any of them, but you should have lots of opportunities to practice.

You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School at Train Your Mate. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here Relationship Help Secrets.